all i need is you~

i do not know anymore..
what is it that you're doing?
maybe i should award myself with a trophy saying ' the best clown impersonator'
the one who cheers people up except himself,
i'm crying behind the mask but;
you could not tell.

 i tried not to torture myself,
tried to look and take things positively;
tried not to open the wounds that was carved by some ungrateful bastards ages before,
but, there's always the "B" word..
i could not help it,
you seem so innocent,
why couldn't you be a little more sensitive,
like i'd always did..
i'm bleeding inside
and;
still you could not tell..

honestly, i do not know who to blame;
my ego? my secrecy?
should i tell? should i complaint?
should i wait? should i rush?
there is this big freaking question mark on top of my head;
i couldn't figure it out..
baby, i want to forget everything but stain you in mind,
please..i'm begging you;
do not let me steer away from you
because seriously i am,
all i need is a second from your hours,
all i need is you~

The Four Chambered Mood~~ XD

*breath in, breath out*

its like 4.31pm rite now and i finally decided to update my blog. its been ages since i updated mine. lolz. kinda busy with college stuffs and all annnnnd im kinda lazy to update things here. hahahaha. so what triggered me to update my blog all of a sudden??

well, i was just browsing the web for poems the other day (to get inspired..for what? can't tell u now haha!) and i came across this poem "Please don't let me Go" by Heather Farley.
basically u can guess what kind of poem is this rite? lol..a love poem. it's about a long distance relationship poem  and how the 'writer' is telling to his/her beloved to wait and don't give up on the relationship yet.

*smiles*

when i read the poem, i remembered back when i had my first long distance relationship. haha, good times good times.

sigh.. lots of people told me that long distance relationship is hard to maintain n all..but to me, i mean..its not about the external factors that matter rite?? i mean even short distance relationship can rupture just like that.
hence, it's the feelings that matters..its how both of u're meant to be..distance doesn't have anything to do with the relationship. sometimes it drives me mad when someone says "dude, it won't work out between u and her".. *rolls eyes* we never know till we try..

now, contented with what i have..haha..a perfect relationship (a long distance relationship though)..
i'm extremely sure that this will really last..^^ just hoping for the best *keeping my fingers crossed*

current mood: bored!!

how i began my day everyday nowadays =="

*late afternoon* 
:-around 12pm to 2pm

  > wakes up..look at my watch..check my hp if i received any messages..
  > go bath (sometimes so lazy ended up bath-less =P) n then straight away sit like a monk infront of my laptop        
     until midnight!! well sometimes i'll exercise la..*sigh* if not..i'l b watching tv...

speaking of tv..wats ur favorite show?? mine?? hahaha...hmmm, two and a half man, everybody loves raymond, friends, scrubs, how i met your mother andddddddddd desperate housewife..damnit..haha..actually it felt like heaven for the first few days after stopping matrics n then after that it starts to get more n more boring then ever..=.=" i dont knw wat else to do eh!! soo yeah..thats all for now..soo freaking bored..

>Peace Out<

EYYYYY!!!! WALAUWEH!!!!

allo bros and sistas, hehe, Sorry about not having my blog updated for quite sometime now, i'd been busy for the past few months, one thing after another..

anyways, QUICK RECAP of whatever happened since i last updated me blog..

# Matriculation College and Matrics life....#

16th April 2010.. (results are OUT!!!)
"hehe, im just soo Thankful to God bcuz i was accepted to continue my studies in Matrics..=D"
It was around 11pm to 12am (im not really sure of the time) but, i was facebook-ing as usual when i saw a post posted by one of my friend (fahizah) saying that matriculation results are out, in facebook..i was like "OMG OMG OMG OMG" as i type the results website nervously. sweats are dripping like tap water while waiting for the results after i'd typed my ic number in a small little box that requires ur ic number to check ur result. when the word 'Taniah' appeared, i was literally jumping around the hall with such joy and happiness and i was Thanking God at the same time, and when i was done jumping, i went back to my seat and scroll down the page to see which place did i get..(honestly i was really really really really really hoping for Labuan Matriculation College) however, i was very very surprise when i get to know that i get Kedah Matriculation College instead of Labuan or Penang or Melaka...(those 3 was my choices actually)..i felt a bit down..KEDAH???!!!! why in the world would i get Kedah??!!! i've never been to Kedah and i know nothing of Kedah! and now suddenly i have to go there to study..=(
but a little while, i thought to myself..well, there must be a reason why i get Kedah instead of my 3 choices, and im pretty sure that the reason is very very solid but of course i dont know whats the reason. It seems i'll just have to play along eh? hehe..ok ok..I'll go to Kedah.

*and my life started*

10th-14th May 2010..( registration day and orientation week)
well, theres nothing much for me to say about the period of time between the results day and my registration day as it was mostly about shopping..lol..so lets just get to the point..=)
HARI PENDAFTARAN PELAJAR BARU MATRIKULASI was written on a huge banner as i entered the campus area. the campus is very very  large, i mean the area. u could lose a few kilos by just walking around the campus, its very big..haha..sooo, my dad parked the car around the lecturers housing area, yeah, some of the lecturers houses were there..in the campus..cool isnt it? soo, if ur really good with that particular lecturer, u can just walk by to his/her house and have a free meal..haha..anywayyyss, i took all my important documents with me, nicely dressed (hehe, seriously i think i look quite smart that day..) n walked to the queueing place..and i was very very surprised that the queue was freaking long!! it was very very long, and they had to separate the queue lines to several lines..sooo, yeah..bla bla bla..i was registered, got the key to my room (A2.T2.19 = blok A2, tingkat 2 and bilik 19) n im blessed to get the best roommate, wan and dearq, ever *miss u guys*..haha..n then orientation week began..~dun~dun~dun~ *thunders roaring*

LAMBAT DAN LEMBAP ADALAH SATU KESALAHAN!!!!
wondering wats that? hahaha..its a slogan created my the 'facis' *i dont know, faci is short for facilitators i guess =S* oh yeah..our orientation week was handled by our seniors (batch 09/10)..n we call them 'faci'...to sum up evrything, our orientation week was very very very very very very very very very very tiring...the faci push us to the limit where u cant really eat, bath or sleep well eh! but anyhow...its quite nice laaaa, we learned alot of things from the facis.. things like u must really really value time n stuffs..hahahaha..for like one incident..hahaha, my moral orientation kuliah was at 7pm, if im not mistaken, n my watch showed 6.35pm..sooo, thinking that i still got time n all..i walk 'lenggang kankung' there n here..took my time in the bathroom..took my own sweet time combing my hair n all..hahahaha..n suddenly i looked at the watch, it was almost 8pm..O_____O!! finish..im gone..im dead..but luckily the faci showd me mercy when i reached the dewan kuliah..hahahaha..first time eh..hahahaha..however, they second time i got punished...n how long? for freaking 15minutes!!! aiseeeeeeee...denda 30 minutes standing outside the dewan kuliah doing nothing, malu eh!..but, hahahaha..i learned my lesson that is not to b late n i must alwys value time from now on..=D

so that was orientation week..not much to talk about..overall,it was fun but tiring at the same time..^^

moving on, haahaha...study week!
wahh, life in Mactrics is completely different from schooling life..but after some time, can cope la..students??? say no more..hahaha, waaahh, the students are very very very smart eh! smartass brilliant dudes..i was intimidated by them eh!! they study evryday like non stop...so i started keeping up their pace la..hahaha...study study study study like shit..hahaha..=.="  bcuz matrics is diffrent from our schooling life..matrics oso got continuous evaluation. continuous evaluation is penilaian berterusan *lol, direct translation* ok ok..C.E is something like ur performance or ur participation level in ur class, soo if ur very very active in the class, for example if you can answer all the questions given by your teacher spontaneously u'll be given more marks to ur C.E which will contribute 10% to your final exam marks.  Quiz, assignments, attitude n participation is included in ur C.E sooooo, thats y have to study always, to make ur mind fresh so that you can answer spontaneously..ermm, life in matrics is not all about studying oso, this is the time u search for ur life partners!! nahh, just kidding!! hahahaha..ok, its about maintaning ur health condition oso..you can go exercising in the evening if u got some leisure time...hahaha..u can do lots of stuffs la..jogging, play basketball, cycling, play futsal..n many more..congkak. hahaha..as for me, i indulged myself more to cycling n basketball..hahaha..miss my cycling friends alotttt! T.T sooo, anyways...yeah..pretty much..anything else???
how can i forget??!!! it is very very important to humans~ ~ ~ FOOD of course!!!!! hahaahaha...
from the top =) kmk (kolej matrikulasi kedah) got 6 blocks for the students..i mean dorms la..A1,A2,B1,B2, C1,C2...block A are for the wira..hahaha..and block B n C are for the wirawati..=P sooo every 2 blocks got Cafeteria..Cafe A, B and C..welll, talking about the food, its not bad at all la...but its just soo freaking expansive!!! u'll spend almost rm15 per day for the regular 3 meals..wat the hell???!! so, i decided to eat rice ony for my lunch..n for my breakfast n dinner = breads..hahaha...seriously..very very expansive..cannot tahan eh..sooooo, pretty much yeah..ahaha..

~~F.r.i.e.n.d.s~~
i'll be there for youuuu~~~hahahaha, soo friends...well, i went to kmk alone sooo i got no one there to talk to..i knew no one..all fresh new unknown faces to me..hahaha, sooo..so i went on searching for friends...search search search..talk talk talk..i ended up with an indian n a chinese, mahesh and chew. wah, great, one malaysia hahaha..one kadazan, one indian, and one chinese..=) so yeah we hang out together alot la for the orientation week..but after that, we kinda get busy and all so we start to hang abit less..hehehe..than, i get to know with Brandon, a malacca chinese fellow..*my brother from a different mother* hahahaha...at first we were just talking like acquaintance like that..but eventually we became very very very very very close..hahaha..=') thanks to Brandon i became close to a few more malacca frens..avan, adrian, yuan chen, rachel and theresa..*typing this makes me feel so nostalgic T.T* we dont knw each other except for brandon n the twins (adrian n avan) but we are very very close...we are like one family..we kinda like do evrything together..=') we study together, eat together n went cycling together..we had fun...hhehe...yeah..not only them..i was close to some other frens oso..hehe..wendy, sean, wi hong, mono (nickname), jeremy and a few more..=) one big family eh! but some of us had to spread our wings and start flying dy...='( thats the saddest part..why? yeah..some of us got JPA scholarship and Mara scholarship (me)...n we (sponsored students) have to leave the campus as soon as possible..=( well, we ony spent three weeks together but it was the most memorable n precious three beautiful weeks together..i was very very sad bcuz i had to leave them, i was literally crying bcuz i had to leave them..my friends, my family in kmk..but then, life has to go on rite? yeah..

soooooo currently, im in the house not doing anything that much..lol...facebook, singing, guitar, play ball, chatting..yeah pretty much the same old routine..=.=" n yeah watch world cup..hhaha..my team? Argentina! hahaha...sooo thats wat happened to me during my blogging-break lol..more things to come later..=) soooo yeah..enjoy!! Love you guys!!

p.s sorry for the very very bad vocab n grammar..hahaha..quite lazy to write properly eh, so ta~da..hahahaha.!! Good Luck In everything!!
>Peace Out<

i never would thought..

i've always told you,

please don't run and hide when i said i trust you, 

i never thought you would but you proved me wrong,

it's true..

chasing you is just like chasing Winds..

...

As I look into your eyes

I can't seem to look away
I get lost into the moment
Each and every day

You thought I didn't like you
You thought that I moved on
But to tell you the total truth...
My feelings aren't gone

I'm still here, still waiting
For us to finally be
I'll stay here for as long as it takes
For you to be with me

I'm still here inside your heart
I'll never give up on you
You'll never find anyone else
Who loves you like I do

I'm still here just waiting
For you to finally realize
I'm still here waiting for you to see me
How I see you through my eyes...

U make ME smile...

well, a few weeks or moths ago, whatever, my friend introduced me to this song, 'Smile' by Uncle Kracker (fancy eh?)..lol anyways..when i first heard the song, i was like "hmm, ok..not bad" and i didn't even touch or listen to the song after that..haha..but a few days or weeks after, whatever, i decided to check out the song back, and this time i listened to the lyrics properly and woah! i kinda LOVE this song! 


the Lyrics are just sooo true! it's a simple nice song which you can dedicate it to anyone you want. Your family members, your friends and to your Dearly Beloved..=)  you have no need to say much to the person you dedicate the song to because the lyrics says it all. Thats why i love this song! 


i decided later then to record a video of me singing this song and dedicating it to all my family members and beloved friends..because you guys made me smile alot! you guys made me happy most of the time..so i hope with this song..i could make u smile like 
                                                  this 

                                                

  

LOLZ, anyways..this is the link to the video cover  Smile by Uncle Kracker [covered by Larry]
sooo.yeah thanks to all of you guys who made me smile constantly...enjoy the video..i LOVE you guys!

AND                                  

thoughts to words...

well, i never thought that i'd be blogging..my first time in fact. anyhow, the reason why i created this blog and named it "mood swings" was because, i believe our mood changes constantly and sometimes we feel so happy or extremely depressed and we wana take it out from our chest but we cant seem to express it through words...that triggers me to name my blog page "mood swings" as i'll post or share my thoughts and moods as frequent as i can..sooo, come on in...=)