all i need is you~

i do not know anymore..
what is it that you're doing?
maybe i should award myself with a trophy saying ' the best clown impersonator'
the one who cheers people up except himself,
i'm crying behind the mask but;
you could not tell.

 i tried not to torture myself,
tried to look and take things positively;
tried not to open the wounds that was carved by some ungrateful bastards ages before,
but, there's always the "B" word..
i could not help it,
you seem so innocent,
why couldn't you be a little more sensitive,
like i'd always did..
i'm bleeding inside
and;
still you could not tell..

honestly, i do not know who to blame;
my ego? my secrecy?
should i tell? should i complaint?
should i wait? should i rush?
there is this big freaking question mark on top of my head;
i couldn't figure it out..
baby, i want to forget everything but stain you in mind,
please..i'm begging you;
do not let me steer away from you
because seriously i am,
all i need is a second from your hours,
all i need is you~

The Four Chambered Mood~~ XD

*breath in, breath out*

its like 4.31pm rite now and i finally decided to update my blog. its been ages since i updated mine. lolz. kinda busy with college stuffs and all annnnnd im kinda lazy to update things here. hahahaha. so what triggered me to update my blog all of a sudden??

well, i was just browsing the web for poems the other day (to get inspired..for what? can't tell u now haha!) and i came across this poem "Please don't let me Go" by Heather Farley.
basically u can guess what kind of poem is this rite? lol..a love poem. it's about a long distance relationship poem  and how the 'writer' is telling to his/her beloved to wait and don't give up on the relationship yet.

*smiles*

when i read the poem, i remembered back when i had my first long distance relationship. haha, good times good times.

sigh.. lots of people told me that long distance relationship is hard to maintain n all..but to me, i mean..its not about the external factors that matter rite?? i mean even short distance relationship can rupture just like that.
hence, it's the feelings that matters..its how both of u're meant to be..distance doesn't have anything to do with the relationship. sometimes it drives me mad when someone says "dude, it won't work out between u and her".. *rolls eyes* we never know till we try..

now, contented with what i have..haha..a perfect relationship (a long distance relationship though)..
i'm extremely sure that this will really last..^^ just hoping for the best *keeping my fingers crossed*